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Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Matthew 9:20
As the crowd bustles by I struggle to get through the suffocating commotion of the morning. My stomach lurched in pain as I tried with all my strength to move forward in what I presumed as my last hope. I continued to push my way past as I worked through the sea of people. Part of me felt selfish for wanting it so badly, but I knew that I could not deal with this agony any longer. For twelve long years I have known nothing other then the life this sickness has caused me. Not only was the physical pain over powering, but worse then that was the nights when the pain had partly subsided, for it was my only companion. By now I have spent many nights alone. Forgotten and forsaken by everyone I thought I knew. When the pain from my stomach would rest the pain of my thoughts would just take its place.
As I continued to strive my way trough the mass I saw a break in the crowd. I had reached my Hope. I had finally come to what I knew I needed. But is it really what I want? After all when I am healed what will I be left with? No. The demon of my aching heart and empty house could be battled another day. For today I knew
As the words slipped out of my mouth and my hand went forward, my finger lightly brushed the fringe of His robe. I closed my eyes as I felt this peace that surpassed all understanding I had ever known.
As I continued to strive my way trough the mass I saw a break in the crowd. I had reached my Hope. I had finally come to what I knew I needed. But is it really what I want? After all when I am healed what will I be left with? No. The demon of my aching heart and empty house could be battled another day. For today I knew
“If only I can touch the hem of His garment, I shall be made well.”
As the words slipped out of my mouth and my hand went forward, my finger lightly brushed the fringe of His robe. I closed my eyes as I felt this peace that surpassed all understanding I had ever known.
Monday, December 21, 2009
its that time of year
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