I wonder

I wonder if I have more worship songs memorized than scripture.

So shall My Word be that goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me void.  Isaiah 55:11

I wonder if today is going to be better than yesterday
He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon the rock. Psalm 27

I wonder if what is coming in will cover what needs to go out.
My God shall supply all your needs. Philippians 4:19

I wonder if He hears me
and after the fire, a still small voice. 1 Kings 19:12

I wonder if I dream too Big
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come. Habakkuk 2:3

I wonder what He has up His sleeve next
His way is blameless. Psalm 18:30

I wonder what they think
For do I now persuade men, or God? Galatians 1:10

I wonder what tomorrow will bring
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much. Luke 16:10

I wonder if its all worth it
In Your Presence is fulness of Joy. Psalm 16:11

I wonder if I am missing it
Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them...for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you. 1 Timothy 4 15:16

I wonder if we realize the power of the little things.  

Edify one another. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

I wonder where this is all headed
Therefore, behold, I will allure her.  Hosea 2:14

Mr. and Mrs.

I love weddings. (I have been a few)

I love instagram.

I love the south.

This past weekend I got to enjoy all three. 

Happy Wedding day Mr. and Mrs. Crosby!

Guess what?

I wrote a guest blog post for Good Women Project.
If you don't know who they are or what it is- PLEASE check it out. Amazing group of ladies.

Good Women. They do exist.

Read it here: When It Isn't a Skinny Day.

www.goodwomenproject.com

Boston in Film. {take two}

43 Minutes

For whatever reason, I love trashy teen soap operas. I am not sure what the exact draw is. The unrealistic story lines, the reminder that no matter what is going on in my life, it is not as bad as the pretend people on TV. (Some of that is because vampires don't exist, but we will discuss that another day.) Maybe it started helping my mom fold clothes on her bed when I was five, watching Guiding Light. I love getting caught up in the stories, the lives, the dramatic failures and celebrations of these fictional people. Every episode, every story line involves some dramatic twist that leaves me hanging in the balance at the end of that 43 minutes. (Plus the shows have really good music. I have discovered some great bands watching those shows.)


Why? Maybe its an escape. I love to read and just genuinely love stories. To get lost in someone else's world for a bit is refreshing. I get joy out of discovering other people's lives and the road that got them there.


Yet along with that comes the thief of all joy—comparison. Our lives are not written by Hollywood script writers (and honestly, sometimes I think I could do a better job; end of Dawson's Creek anyone?). Our lives are not going to have a soundtrack playing in the background with perfect lighting. Our love story is not going to be made into a movie or have a song written about it.


We have to be careful not to get so caught up in the emotional porn of the fictional stories of these "people" that our actual lives are disappointing. The Creator of all things is writing every moment so give Him the pen. Give Him the pen and don't try and read the last chapter or watch the season finale.

Now excuse me, I have some One Tree Hill to catch up on.

Kool-Aid

I was served the Kool-Aid.
I drank the Kool-Aid.
I learned how to mix the Kool-Aid.
I poured the Kool-Aid. 
I taught others how to mix the Kool-Aid.

Then I went home. 


I want more than that out of life. More than just the motions of the Kool-Aid. I want to know Him and He know me.

 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.  Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’  And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’" Matthew 7:21-23

Congrats! You're a hypocrite!

There comes that moment when you kick yourself in the butt. Shame washes over as you realize you were doing the one thing that you despise the most. That pet-peeve that annoys the stew out of you and makes your blood boil? Yeah you were caught doing just that.

Congrats. You are a hypocrite.

The one thing that becomes your saving grace is the realization of this reality. That you are this Jesus loving person who makes your own skin crawl. You recognize it, cringe in disgust and then change it. Change your thoughts, your emotions and wipe that stank look off your face.

Sometimes you have to grow up and do something.

Legacy

I am a blessed girl. A “this is ridiculous, is this my life?, no wonder people want my family” kind of blessed. I am reminded of the influence and power one person can have over a family. My family would not be where we are if it wasn't for my grandparents. They set that foundation and we are reaping the benefits. This past weekend I had the privilege of attending a conference that centered around leaving a legacy and making that foundation for Christ. Sometimes we are born into darker legacies, while others can be a bit brighter. What was special about this particular conference more than most, was my Grandma (MawMaw we call her) was speaking. And, get this, she asked me to speak with her. (I know. Weird right?). Over all it was a great weekend with some come-to-Jesus moments myself. Including the realization that it is my own responsibility of choosing to what legacy I will leave. We all have one- whether we change the pattern of desolation or we continue in the glory of Christ- is up to us.

We didn't have to carry on the spiritual inheritance. We could have bucked the system, killed the legacy and done our own thing. But God blessed my siblings and me with good parents that took that legacy and passed it on to us. They are praying, sacrificing, encouraging parents who legitimately just want the best for all their kids (the adopted friends included). They want us to know that, more than anything that this world has to offer, we need to know that God has a better plan that surpasses all that we can imagine. That all of us can own that and do something with it. To discover  that we need to develop our own relationship with Jesus- which takes time and intensity and will ultimately pave the road of my own legacy, ready to be passed to others.

So, as I was sitting in the front pew of the church I was dedicated in as a baby, listening to my MawMaw talk, I was overwhelmed by the legacy I get to carry on. I don't have to, but joy comes from walking in His word and following that obedience. It wont be easy—listening to  her testimony is a reminder of that. I also know I wouldn't want it any other way.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
 Because the Lord has anointed Me
 To preach good tidings to the poor;
 He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
 To proclaim liberty to the captives,
 And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, 
And the day of vengeance of our God;
 To comfort all who mourn,
 To console those who mourn in Zion, 
To give them beauty for ashes, 
The oil of joy for mourning,
 The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
 That they may be called trees of righteousness,
 The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
And they shall rebuild the old ruins,
They shall raise up the former desolations,
 And they shall repair the ruined cities,
 The desolations of many generations.” Isaiah 61:1-4

Wonderment

I want things. I dream and I have assurance in things that I continue to hope for. Yet with that comes the conviction and wonderment of the unknown. I'm reminded- that is what faith is. Faith is not allowing God to pick up the pen, only to try and read the next page. Faith is allowing yourself to dream, yet knowing one day, you will have the realization that you ended up with exactly with what you prayed for... you just didn't know it.

"Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things unseen." Hebrews 11:1