Arise

As I slip my clean, freshly pedicured feet into my shoes, I have to remind myself it is a blessing. I look down and realize this is not the first pair of shoes I have owned, nor is it going to be the last. I glance in my closet and notice my shelves no longer hold all my shoes; they are spilling out onto the floor. Guilt washes over me and my heart breaks because I know how, too often, I take it all for granted.

In the past three years I have been given opportunities to open my eyes, expand my world and take a bird's eye view of the lives around me. After escaping my southern comfort zone and gaining perspective from all over the world, my heart began yearning for change, and it hasn’t stopped. I become impatient for revival and for the roots of peoples lives to be shaken. I long to see people’s lives changed and impacted. But it will not happen by itself; the fruit cannot spring up without seeds being planted. I cannot make a difference without first getting off the couch, leaving what I know to be comfortable and doing something radical. In order to do something that has never been done before, I must live a life that has never been lived before. I have to ask myself, what is the point of knowing the needs in other people's lives and repressing it, acting as if they don't exist? Acting as if everything is okay?

It is beyond the time we wake from our sleep and step into the darkness of this world. As I walk the streets of my town, or sit and watch as people meander by, I want to scream at them because they don't see it. I sense in some people a comatose life, completely unaware of the world around us, the loss, suffering, and different lives that are taking place outside our self-created bubbles. I see blinding that keeps people from seeing the reality of what is all around them. The reality that people are going without. Without food, clean water, shoes, hope, love, grace, redemption.

But, the veil has been lifted from my face. I have seen the poverty and the less privileged of this world and I can't stop thinking about it. And I struggle to wrap my mind around all that is happening. I am sensitive to the reminders and they give me a little more clarity, my eyes opened a little more.

So what can I do? What must I do? I look down at my feet and am reminded "how beautiful are the feet that carry." As I raise my head, stand up a littler straighter, put on my eternal mindset and begin to be awakened once more to the world around me, I take a step forward. The reality is, my heart knows. The truth is that I can't sit back any longer. I have given my life over to the One who created it, but now it’s time I move.

This past week I was blessed enough to be involved in a ministry where we were able to give over 200 kids a new pair of shoes. But the blessing was found in the act. As the children would come and sit in front of us, we would remove their old shoes and wash their feet clean. As we did this, we would tell them about how Jesus, who loves you, loved His freinds so much, he washed their feet! As I was washing a little boy's feet, not sure if he was paying attention to what I was saying, he surprised me and asked, "Why feet?"

So I was left to wonder, why feet??

Our feet carry us all of our lives and hold us up. They lead us and take us places that we would never have thought or imagined. Some good and some less so. When we get to the paths in life that aren't so smooth, the bumps more numerous and tricky, what do we do? We look down. Our heads drop and we look at our feet. My prayer is that each person who receives a pair of shoes can remember the hope and encouragement of that special day when their foot slipped into a whole new realm, represented by a shoe. And I pray the love and encouragement they received from the person who gave it to them will remind them to lift their head. That even though right now is tough, tomorrow is a new day. And their newly protected (and loved) feet will carry them.

And it all starts by putting one foot in front of another. So let's go. One shoe at a time.

prayer

I desire the consuming fire that will lead my prayers to be directed at my God. I desire this fire that the world cannot explain. I desire the passion that will bring me to my face between my knees. The passion that I cannot obtain or hold in. I refuse to sit with uncalloused knees. To stand with the words being recited from my mind. But to worship my Lord with the Spirit of Truth. I will not have the heart of an uninvolved, undevoted, indifferent pretender. I desire a life that is encompassed with the sweet fellowship of Jesus and is solid in my trust in Him. I want to hit my broken and bruised knees when the sun rises and sit at the feet of my Savior. I want the Holy Spirit to be overflowing in me and interceding- for I am at a lost of what to say. For no person is greater than the prayer life in whcih he posses- when we are not praying we are straying. When we are straying we are not pursing the holiest relationship we could obtain. Our praying needs to be that of God's servant and chosen prophet Elijah. A man who was just like us- but is an example of a payer life that pressed and pursued. That had an abundant energy that never grows weary and a persistence that has an encouraging fixation upon the Lord.

So I have to ask my broken and straying heart to humble itself and enter in. I have to put my life away and focus on the Giver of all things. For I know who I am and whose I am. I must go in and expect to be blessed and given hope. I desire to have the markings and evidence of to whom I belong.

I leave with passion.

"The call of the cross, therefore, is to enter into the passion of Christ.
We must have upon us the mark of the nails." Gordon Watt

Spark

“Perhaps the artist longs to sleep well every night, to eat anything without indigestion, to feel no moral qualms, to turn off the television news & make a bologna sandwich after seeing the devastation & death caused by famine, drought, earthquake & flood.
But the artist cannot manage this normalcy. Vision keeps breaking through & must find means of expression.”
Madeline L’Engle

I drive down the road and sometimes have to stop and catch my thoughts. I have a tendency to be distracted by something- usually anything- and next thing I know I have a lifetime story in my head. Fearless stories of fictional characters who have faced far worse, more tragic lives than my own and how they have dealt with them. Sometimes its opposite- its the way i feel it should be. I am a people watcher. In airports I love to sit and see strangers and in my mind I make up their lives- are they happy? where did they come from? Single? Married? Searching? Found? These characters and imaginary fairy tales of love and lost are swimming aimlessly around my head. I put them down every once in a blue moon- but mostly they just drift off.


But what has gotten my attention more than recently is the spark. What triggers these notions of a unknown reality?


The spark lies in the fire. The spark is the Creator behind everything.


I once read that a artist relationship with their god is not effected by their life. But their life is effected by their god. My God- is the Creator. My life is driven by the creation. And every time I get the spark going, once I get my thoughts under control, I am forced to stand back in awe of what ignited it all.

“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there. If I make my bed in hell, behold You are there...”

Every where I go I am reminded how You are everywhere. You are in all things. You are guiding me.

“...Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.” Psalm 139:7-10

Go forth

“I am given hope that I may remember how to walk across the water.” Journal entry November 5, 2008

Coffee cup number two of the morning is brewing in the kitchen and the dogs are resting at my feet. Looking out the window the rain steadily continues to pulsate to the ground. The bible open next to me and my blackberry not too far out of reach- all my addictions are in place. (with Phil Whickam serenading me). I am trying to enjoy the peace and quiet that surrounds me, knowing what is coming.

Do you ever get the urge to coop yourself up with Jesus? And don’t tell me you are always conversing with Him- your lying. We are all human and live in a world that likes to bully us with dirt and filth. But do you ever, honestly just desire not to leave your sanctuary? Today I am sitting in the kitchen and just enjoying being untouched. For right now, I can relax and just be who God made me and spend time with Him. I don't have to sit up straight (sorry dad), suck in my tummy, worry if my hair is frizzy, and sometimes I actually sing really really loud! Yet I know the reality. I have to leave the front door. I know that in about an hour or so I have to make myself presentable to the outside (cause you will stare), and go forth into the realm of the enemy. BUT (I LOVE that word) when I get dressed this morning,not only will I put on my clothes, do my makeup, try and tame my hair, but I will also put on my armor. I will put on my breastplate of righteousness and I will prepare my feet with the Gospel. Above all- I will have my shield of faith which will protect me against the wickedness that we fight everyday. My helmet of Salvation will be securely renewing my mind and thoughts and my Spirit will be sharper than any two-edged sword. I will walk through the front door- insecure in my own right, but confidant that I will boldly stand in our Protector. I will not turn my back to the evil principalities but I will face them in valiant trust.

Here we go....

“...that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.” 2 Corinthians 4:7

Wedding Day

My heart had finally slowed down and the reminder to not lock my knees was dancing around in my head. The bouquet of flowers was starting to weigh in my arms and that is when I had to catch my breath. As one of my best friend came walking down the aisle, veil covering her gorgeous face, I couldn’t help but realize that Becca was becoming a wife. She was no longer about to be one, but she was becoming part of one. It wasn’t but an hour ago, that it started clicking for her that she was getting married! The day that every little girl plans since they were 5 was coming a reality.
As they were exchanging their promises of love and sanctity, I felt the goose bumps go up my arms. This is what we all were waiting for. As I started to reminisce on the past few days, I just kept smiling.
I had arrived in Washington D.C. with a bit of discouragement in my own heart and within my own life. But once again I was reminded how personal our God is. He knew exactly the words, the friends, the atmosphere I needed. I now contained a renewed joy and enthusiasm as I stood there, looking at Becca and Paul give not only their lives, but their marriage over to glorify the Lord. The ceremony was an intimate time of worship and remembrance of how our Father views His bride. We were all reminded, once again, how our lives are to represent His love towards us.


But then.... it was time to party! We ended the night with many dances (including the bridal party specialty of the Virginia Real) and many traditions. I honestly don’t think I have had that much fun in a long time. Here are a few captured shots of the big day!

The groomsman

The Bridal party after the Big Finale!

My girls that I love!




Aren't they precious?

connect

She stands there. Knees locked and thoughts running. As the lives pass by her, she wonders what it is like to have that freedom. The walls that surround her, allow her to watch, but she is unable to move. She sees the people all around, walking by her and not even noticing. She knows she can see them, but can they see her? She can feel the eyes of people looking but knows she is not seen. Not touched. What did she do? What is it that put her here? She is bewildered by what is happening and cannot wrap her thoughts around it. All she did was do what she thought was the right thing and what she felt she was suppose to. Was she wrong? Is this the sacrifice it would bring? She wonders if anyone will ever look twice. She wants the walls gone. She wants to be able to walk around with the confidence of those she sees. Yet in the same thoughts of wishing, she knows she won’t settle, even if she wanted to. She knows the walls are hard to climb- she knows that there is a reason for them.... “After he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.”

Wait.
There it was. It didn’t hold long, but it was there.

He walks by her, again. Everyday it gets harder. He sees her and knows that she is different. He knows that there is something about her that no one else has. He is drawn to her in a way he doesn’t understand and can’t explain. The only way he knows how to deal with it is to turn the other way. He avoids her and tries to keep his distance, yet he can’t take take his focus off of her. He cries out to God to intervene and do something about what is going on inside him. Yet it just grows deeper. Does she even notice him? He looks up at her again, knowing that the walls that surround her aren’t meant to be conquered over and over. But one time. If he is to have her, he is to fight for her. The walls are intimidating, and make her seem untouchable. It seems too narrow. Can he do it? Is he worth it? But she is. She looks his way... “enter by the narrow gate...”

Wait.
There it was. It didn’t hold long, but it was there.

Facelift

I gave my blog a facelift. Might change in the next few days. Dont know if I like it or not.

New picture coming soon (hopefully). that one is almost 3 years old! lol