Bloom

It seems like good conversations always seem to happen in the kitchen. I don’t know if its the aroma of food, the relaxed atmosphere mixed with a glass of wine or just the fact that there is a pre-mindset of just feeling welcome. For whatever reason it may be, I always seem to find myself having my deepest “coming to Jesus” conversation in the solitude of the kitchen. For example today, me and Kristyn had the apartment to ourselves while the girls were all in class. I was sitting on the counter top, catty-cornered to her at the table. Next thing you know, we have talked about everything under the sun: What we see happening this semester between us and the girls, our hearts so far on what is happening, and even just what we are learning right now. One of the major things that we both agreed on was the act of surrender. I know it sounds cliché and comes up a lot in typical christian discussions. But if it comes up so often, and us humans are talking about it so much, apparently we haven’t grasped the concept quiet yet.  I know, for me, its an everyday act of saying “Lord, I can’t do this. You can.” But more than just surrendering over your life, your will, and so on- I have to wonder- do we surrender over the parts that make up our lives? In the Christian world we hear all the time to “surrender your life over the Lord.”  And don’t get me wrong- it’s a necessary thing that we need to do in order to live a consecrated life. Yet, if we break that down- not so overwhelming as LIFE- but more of just today. what about our dreams? Our desires for our ministries? Our desires for our jobs? Our desires for our family or friends? Our relationships? Do we surrender our desires? If you really think about that sentence- it is completely false.  The question should be said, do we surrender HIS desires? 

When I think of all the things I want out of life- A good, God-fearing Husband; children who love and serve the Lord; a ministry that I can say is glorifying to Him; a house with a wraparound porch on some pretty land in the country; NOT a mini van; a circle of family and friends who know me and love me  or who I truly am and are willing to be honest; to be able to dress my kids up in mini FSU cheerleader and football outfits for game days and go tailgating; so on and so forth. I have these desires and more, but where did they come from? Most of us, when we became saved, knew that our lives would be so much better off if the Lord’s will was done and not our own. So, if we were letting Jesus Christ truly rule and reign in us, if we were allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us and direct us (cause it is a choice- saved or not)- wouldn’t these desires be... from God Himself? I would hope so. I would hope that I wouldn’t  have- what I think is perfect for me- thoughts and dreams for my life just to be teased by them.  Now- some are frivolous and some are a little more dominating (obviously, I am can be a little flexible on the specifics of the house).   But the point is- these aren’t truly our  desires. So, if they aren’t truly ours  and they rather still belong to God ...we have to give them back. Yes, He did give them to us.  But He gave us these hopes, dreams, visions and burdens in our hearts cause He has a specific plan for each one of them.  In order for them to come to blossom to their full potential- we have to be willing to let them go. We have to lay them on the alter, sacrifice them over and let God have the reigns.  We can’t make the painting better than the Artist who imagined it in the first place. 

“Then the time came when the risk it took to remain in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” -Anais Nin

One Sunday, my Pastor talked about visions. One of the things He said that I loved was how a vision is between two people: you and the Lord. God gave you that vision/desire/dream/burden because He wants to use YOU.  When we get this vision we must realize that it is one part of the plan and what God wants to do. For us to fully see what is to happen- for it to fully blossom- we must surrender it. It is our responsibility to see what it could or should be by giving it back to the Lord and letting Him use us to bring it to glory Him.

Bloom.