Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Racing Drops

Deep Breath.

Looking out the window I zone out- reverting to my childhood game of watching the raindrops race. Wondering which one is going to win as they run into other stationary drops of water. The coffee is brewing and I have to once again tell myself to take a deep breath.

I will not fret. I will not fear. I will not grow anxious for I know.... God is still God.

Monday, February 27, 2012


My heart was pounding. My mind was racing and I could not get a grasp on what was happening. All around me were people experiencing You. Entering into Your presence they were realizing the need to decide. To break free from what was and hold on to what is coming.

I am in awe. God what are you doing? So many prayers answered. So many thoughts. Lord help me to process what is going on. Cause right now all I can do is keep going. I just have to keep going cause if I stop I get overwhelmed. Overwhelmed that it is actually happening.  

It's rising
A song of hope from us set free

Hallelujah to You God of the redeemed 

See more here: Crosswild

Friday, February 24, 2012

Realizations of Grandeur

I'm woken up to a muffled hum and the stench of ammonia. Where am I? What is that? What is going on right now? I am still dreaming, right? The light starts to creep in as I slowly peel open my eyes and am reminded why my body aches and my eyes are puffy: Crosswild. And Middle School camp at that.

I turn over and am greeted with eight “Good Mornings!” at octaves higher than the early hour should allow. I check my phone and am startled to see the daunting time of 6:45. 6:45?!

“Girls, you do know breakfast is in an hour and a half right?”

Eye rolling combined with no reaction let me know that I was suddenly the old lady in the room. I was in a room with eight seventh grade girls and even just being a vintage 23, I was silently reminded of my age.  We were at camp and my girls were blow drying their hair and painting their nails, preparing for first meal and any boy who might give them a second look.

I remember being at church camp when I was in middle school; It was nothing like this. At least I don't remember getting up this early to get all dolled up. Although it is very likely, considering I didn't even knowing what gel was in the seventh grade, (let alone a blow dryer,) that I was the awkward girl who sat on the bed mesmerized by the ones staring the mirror. I guess some things never change.

On my way to the community showers, I turn the corner and am greeted with an explanation for why my wet towel is in the corner on the floor. “Oh, Ms. Laura, I forgot towels so I used yours. Oh, and me and Sarah forgot shampoo. And conditioner. Yours were the ones already in the shower, right?” Do parents not pack their 13 year old’s bags anymore? Oh well. This situation is what a sink, deodorant and a pony tail were invented for.

To try and build unity for our small group, I had purchased all the girls pink sashes to wear. They say having something in common helps build a sense of family, so we named ourselves the “Pink Brigade” and adorned our bright pink attire through out the weekend. We were cool... and loud. 

The hour and half of prep passed fairly quickly, talking about boys, Solena Gomez and snippets of Jesus. After all, we are at Jesus camp. I asked them how they had enjoyed the weekend so far and what they had been learning in the past 12 hours. Conversation was pleasant and then we started our day.

The next 24 hours were eye opening.

As each hour passed, the life stories from each girl came pouring out. The hurt. The shame. The insecurities and questions. All the wonder, abandonment and loneliness that had been masked by braces, graphic tees and giggling were starting to show through.

The walls came down and I held on as they collapsed. Tears fell and the brokenness of dealing with issues of life that no 13-year old should have to face. “I have to be the strong one for my family, and I cant do it anymore.” The bricks were being taken down and the masks pulled away because something was clicking in each of their hearts.  They were learning that the time was now. Time to recognize that you are your own person. That you have emotions, feelings and decisions that are yours to make. Yet to also know that you are not alone. To know that you have people, family or not, that love you.

Through the tears came realizations of grandeur. Realizations that even at the ripe young age of 13, you can do something significant. That age is not an excuse and its time to realize you are part of a plan far beyond what you could ever imagine. For when they picked up that brick, they recognized the necessity of starting your own life. The foundation you find in your salvation is there- now lets build.

“I know God was with me. I could feel His presence. And You know what? He told me everything was going to be okay.”

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Imagine If....

and they spoke to Moses, saying, “The people bring much more than enough for the service of the work which the Lord commanded us to do.” So Moses gave a commandment, and they caused it to be proclaimed throughout the camp, saying, “Let neither man nor woman do any more work for the offering of the sanctuary.” And the people were restrained from bringing, for the material they had was sufficient for all the work to be done—indeed too much. Exodus 36:4-6

...The church today had this problem? 

Boston in Film

Better late than never. Here are a few of my favorites. Still waiting on some more film to get back.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Face Down

Jesus, help me to make something beautiful for You. In this poem. In this bit of earth. In this story. In this cake or loaf of bread or painting or song. Not only can I not do it truly, essentially, without You. I can’t do it for You without You...

...It’s a beautiful thing, this holy desperation, and liberating in the extreme. God is not going to magically make me write like Elizabeth Gaskell or Jane Austen or George Eliot just because I ask Him to. But He is going to enable me to write from the burden of love He has laid upon me, to the end that He desires, which is more desirable than all to me. And the desire and the desiring draw me irresistibly into the heart of Love itself.

Rabbit Room