Desert

“White as snow. White as snow.

Though my sins were as scarlet....

...You will make me white as snow.”

I wrestled awake trying to remember where I had laid my head the night before. I turn over and looked out the window as the German sky had opened up and the snow was covering all that I could see. The night before we had arrived at the campus in Siegen, Germany and was now being awaked to the seasons first snowfall.  As the weekend progressed the snow kept coming and coming- 5 inches total! For me, the Florida girl that I am, the twelve year old came out in me as I threw the hundredth snowball that first day. Although my fingers were numb and my toes were tingling- I had the best time I have had in such a long time!  (check out the pictures I posted to get a more detailed look at the weekend)

The last night approached and as I was sitting on the couch- sipping on a new found friend’s tea, I tried to take in the last bit of my Narnia that I could. Before the white snow came, the dead grass and withered trees were all that surrounded. The leaves had changed and fallen as the end of Autumn concluded and the start of winter had arrived.  

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?...

...My heart shall not fear; though war may rise up against me, in this I will be confident.” Psalm 27:1-3

The semester is almost over. In 26 days I will be heading back across the Atlantic Ocean and in all honesty don’t know when I will be back. Do I want to? Definitely. It has been a hell ride these past few months and one that I needed. It was (and still is)  a time when I have been put through the fire and have had to face the sin that was buried deep inside of my own self. I had to learn to swallow, to let go, to realize when I am crawling that I know I will be on my feet again. To know that in the desert God will provide the living water. In the fire I am being refined. In the battle the victory is already won and I can know that triumph is on its way. And when the Harvest comes, I can see that I am overflowing just to be emptied again. In all of this- in every season- I can take hold and comfort in that God is still God. He is still on the throne and I am going to praise Him.

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed 

that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the Land of the living.” Psalm 27:13

Finger Tips

“I  am dying of thirst by the Fountain.” -unknown

In my kitchen,my hot tea and bible are keeping me company as the cold rain pounds the windows.  I try and soak up the rarity of having the apartment to myself. As the afternoon approaches, I realize what a week it has been. Too often I sit here and come to the recognition of what is truly going on in the world, and in my own life. Even when you have salvation and you have the strength of the Lord, we too often fall back into our old ways and start to thirst for the drowning that will swallow ourselves.  I realize that I am not taking advantage of what has already been given to me.  I find myself holding on by my fingertips- I am holding on, but barely.  Right as I feel as if that last finger is just about to slip away, and I find myself trying to hold myself up, I  become aware of what I am doing- I am struggling.  I find myself feeling stretched and sprawled out right in front of  exactly what I need- I find myself dying of thirst as I am right near the fountain. Yet, once I come to the realization that I am in restraint and struggling, I am set free. It is only when I stop struggling, that I  survive.  

“Knowing that our old man was crucified with HIm, that the body  of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin.” Romans 6:6-7

It is rather ridiculous when we really think about it. We have salvation right? We have the promise of eternal life, the promise of the Holy Spirit to help guide us and to be our Helper, and we have the promise of the Word. Yet one promise I seem to forget (and I am sure I am not the only one out there, so admit this to yourself as well) is our freedom that we obtain by our salvation.  We all struggle with something- for some it is a bit more evident in their lives then others- but we all have something. We all have a flesh, a sin nature.  Yet, as people who have salvation, that old man is no longer draggin behind us. Our old slef dies when Christ bore our sins and was crucified. We no longer have to be in the bondage of that. When we bear the name of Christ and choose to have Him abiding in us, we must realize that He died once and for all.  Not “once-and-for-all”, but rather “one time and for all sin.”  

When I accepted the gift, and I made the choice to receive salvation, I was freed! I no longer had to deal with the bondage and sin that kept me back before. So why do I let it get me now? Why, when I  have the promise of the Word, do I let the enemy get to me- letting my thoughts and my mind think I have to do anything.  All I must do, is let go, come to fountain, and jump in. All I need to do- is take part in what I already have- and that is liberty in Christ.

“For when there is a testament, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator.  For a testament is in force after men are dead, since it has no power at all while the testator lives.” Hebrews 9:16-17

Daily I have to ask myself...

AM I DEAD? 

Writers Block

Its been almost a week since I got back from Rome... and I am sorry that I am just now sitting down to get it all out.  I was sitting in our freezing cold living room- thinking of ways to be creative and trying to “think outside the box” when thinking about how to describe my trip.  But I couldn’t. So what better way to tell you about Rome, then to show you. I posted about 100 pictures that will show you the 5 day trip to Rome. My roommate and I met her parents there and well lets just say, it was unforgettable. 

Check them out and enjoy!