Tuesday, March 17, 2009


I was sitting in the conference room as I zoned out from the discussion of new policies and ideas that (quiet honestly) really had nothing to do with me. I was trying to keep my focus and at least act like I was paying attention. I wanted to pay attention, but the grumbling of my stomach kept interrupting. It was nearing 1:00 and I was famished. I thought about what I brought for lunch and I remembered that I had started over (again) on this whole diet thing. I am always starting over. No matter what I do- Weight Watchers, exercises, no carbs, no sugar- I never see the results everyone else does. And once I don't see results after a few weeks- I give in to the temptation of the Kettle cooked cracked pepper potato chips.
I was sitting in that meeting thinking about how much this all sucks. How I think about what I just ate, am about to eat or what I really want to eat, on a constant basis. But, this is what I have to do cause I am "over weight" and am sick of looking "fat."
As I was walking down the hill back to my office, a very special woman whom I have known for practically my whole life, asked me how this whole "diet" thing was going. (she knows me to well and knows I am always on some new plan) And she said some things that really hit me:

Our bodies are dying no matter what we do.
Your 21 and are always on some new "diet"... relax.
Enjoy life and eat if you want.

Now I have people tell me this before. My dad has tried to tell me to relax for years.
But then she asks me this question:

Who do you think about when you this?
You. All the time.

It hit me. I think about me all the time. I am distracted from my ministry, my friends, my family, my youth girls, because I am constantly battling myself and the expectations I put on myself.
How can I be a servant when I am putting myself first all the time?

I know this can't be resolved over night. I will probably still think about it for awhile. But (my favorite word) I have victory through my salvation and in my Savior. I don't have to fight any more. I can step back and breathe- knowing I don't have to focus on this. It doesn't have to consume me. I need to accept myself. God created everything in His image right? How dare I say that something the Lord created in His thoughts isn't perfect? Who am I to judge His creation?

Lets pray I stick to this plan....


  1. Remember those words... Now, go visit t-tapp.com and enjoy my fun!

  2. Laura Jean,

    Try this:

  3. you are such a beautiful young woman, i miss you dearly my friend! thanks for sharing your heart on your blog, very inspiring!

  4. (what i'm about to say is not to puff up your ego, its from the heart)
    you have my favorite fashion sense out of all my friends and i think your body, and well as your heart, is AMAZING! i agree with the women friend.... it's just our earthly bodies, having a sweet treat or fatty chips isn't going to kill you! enjoy who you are, because you are beautiful laura!