perfection

I was sitting in the conference room as I zoned out from the discussion of new policies and ideas that (quiet honestly) really had nothing to do with me. I was trying to keep my focus and at least act like I was paying attention. I wanted to pay attention, but the grumbling of my stomach kept interrupting. It was nearing 1:00 and I was famished. I thought about what I brought for lunch and I remembered that I had started over (again) on this whole diet thing. I am always starting over. No matter what I do- Weight Watchers, exercises, no carbs, no sugar- I never see the results everyone else does. And once I don't see results after a few weeks- I give in to the temptation of the Kettle cooked cracked pepper potato chips.
I was sitting in that meeting thinking about how much this all sucks. How I think about what I just ate, am about to eat or what I really want to eat, on a constant basis. But, this is what I have to do cause I am "over weight" and am sick of looking "fat."
As I was walking down the hill back to my office, a very special woman whom I have known for practically my whole life, asked me how this whole "diet" thing was going. (she knows me to well and knows I am always on some new plan) And she said some things that really hit me:

Our bodies are dying no matter what we do.
Your 21 and are always on some new "diet"... relax.
Enjoy life and eat if you want.

Now I have people tell me this before. My dad has tried to tell me to relax for years.

But then she asks me this question:

Who do you think about when you this?
You. All the time.

It hit me. I think about me all the time. I am distracted from my ministry, my friends, my family, my youth girls, because I am constantly battling myself and the expectations I put on myself.
How can I be a servant when I am putting myself first all the time?

I know this can't be resolved over night. I will probably still think about it for awhile. But (my favorite word) I have victory through my salvation and in my Savior. I don't have to fight any more. I can step back and breathe- knowing I don't have to focus on this. It doesn't have to consume me. I need to accept myself. God created everything in His image right? How dare I say that something the Lord created in His thoughts isn't perfect? Who am I to judge His creation?

Lets pray I stick to this plan....