Life Happens

It started last week. It was a nice sunny day in mid November, I had been fairly busy at work and was heading that way when I heard that noise.  You know, the ones that make your stomach drop to the floorboard, as our head falls back against the headrest. I took a deep breath and prayed it was the car next to me. I continued on my drive and then heard another sound- completely different than the one before. It was confirmation that today was not my day. I made the detour and pulled into the mechanic’s office. Within a few minutes I knew that things were not going to go my way. About as fast as I started praying so did my thoughts of all the worst possible scenarios. The news came and it was not pretty. I don’t understand, I tithed this month Lord, why are You doing this to me? Its Christmas and presents need to be bought, I have things to do, I am busy and this cannot consume my mind right now, let alone my bank account! Ahhh I need chocolate!

As I was sitting in my office later that afternoon, still holding my breath as I tried to strategize how I was going to handle all this sudden news, I had a realization: I was listening to my thoughts. I was listening to my heart and looking at the reality of the situation. I was focused on the numbers, the physical problems and what I could do. As a result my anxiety was shooting into the heavens.  My heart was troubled.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked…” Jeremiah 17:9

Just as fast as the panic attacked, the peace consumed me. The walls of fear, freight and anxiety came crashing down as the peace and unknown understanding took their place. I was reminded that we are children of God and He created us and this life. Nothing is a surprise to Him and as much as we to try and listen to our hearts, all we gain is desperate hope and deceitful wicked counsel. We must once again be brought to the place of humility and realization that we cannot do this on our own. That our ways, understandings and our hearts will fail. We are sanctified by the power of the Holy Spirit and who are we to say that God will not take care of us? For we are is His daughters, and He is our King. 

And even though things are still up in the air (or down depending on how you look at it), I have to take refuge in the fact that life happens. But my God is bigger than life.

Take rest, for “my God shall supply all your need…”

Give Thanks

The crowd was different this year. Some have gone and some have come. The scenery was different and the food was in abundance. Overall we had a great time and the reminder of where are roots are was evident. Enjoy the moments captured:

Fear Not

For God has not given us a Spirit of Fear, but of power, love and of a sound mind.

2 timothy 1:7

I will no longer fret over the unseen. 

I will no longer hold back in the fear of the unknown.

Self pity is of the devil.

A life lead by a timid heart is not of the Lord.

For He is our great Comfort, and Help in time of need.

For I am encountering the spirit that has been placed within me. 

I must tap into the power that I behold.

I must stand in the unconditional love that I have been bestowed. 

I must take part of the self-control that my rushing thoughts seem to forget. 

For when I accept this part of me, the new creation that has risen inside, I will no longer stand back and anticipate the fall.

Jesus my heart is Yours. Jesus my heart is Yours. Jesus my heart is Yours. 

Contemplations

I have a list of things I have contemplated doing in my life and have yet to have the guts to do it.

1. Participate in the Amazing Race. My love of travel, adventure and "heck why not?" would all be accomplished in this one task.

2. Open my own non-profit coffee shop. We would have pie, good coffee (emphasis on the good) and tons of books. You could get lost in the adventures of Tolkien or be provoked in the thoughts of Tozer. All the while enjoying a warm piece of a homemade american staple, and a cup of black crack. Meanwhile, you can rest easy knowing all the profits will go to the better good of eternity.

3. Skydiving. My mother would shoot me. My father would encourage me. My best friend wants to go with me.

4. write more. I don't think or know if anyone would really read any of it. But it clears my head when needed.

I have a new project

They are coffee filters. Yes, the white thin paper sleeves you put in your Mr. Coffee every morning. 

I cant wait to get started!

Fellowship in the Gospel

After sanctification it is difficult to state what your aim in life is, because God has taken you up into His purpose by the Holy Ghost; He is using you now for His purposes throughout the world as He used His Son for the purpose of His salvation. If you seek great things for yourself- God has called me for this and that; you are putting a barrier to God's use of you. As long as you have a personal interest in your own character, or any set ambition, you cannot get through into identification with God's interest. You can only get there by losing forever any idea of yourself, and by letting God take you right out into His purpose for the world, and because your goings are of the Lord, you can never understand your ways. 


I have to learn that the aim in life is God's, not mine. God is using me from His great personal standpoint, and all He asks of me, is that I trust Him, and never say -Lord, this gives me such heart-ache. To talk in that way makes me a clog. When I stop telling God what I want, He can catch me up for what He wants without let or hindrance. He can crumble me up or exalt me, He can do anything He chooses. He simply asks me to have implicit faith in Himself and in His goodness.  Self-pity is of the devil, if I go off that line I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world. I have "a world within a world" in which I live, and God will never be able to get me outside it because I am afraid of being frost-bitten.


-Oswald Chambers
My Utmost for His Highest 

Tallulah Grace

We had our moments. A few screams as we left Target without a toy. Some fights going to sleep and taking baths. But mostly, we sang in the car about how Jesus loves us. We carved pumpkins and got to feed farm animals. We went to gymnastics, swimming, and horseback riding. We made cookies, watched movies, drank hot cocoa, and talked about the new baby (whom she wants to name Florida State). When we got scared we prayed and remembered that Jesus is our Protector. When we got sad, we prayed and knew that mommy and daddy would be home soon. Mostly, we laughed, a lot.

I miss her.

I had a nightmare

that I chopped off all my hair. I actually woke up sad and when i looked in the mirror was surprised to see my disheveled mane falling past my shoulder blades. To help keep me comforted that nothing will happen in my sleep I decided to drown my fears in beautiful strands of hair.

 Yep. Not cutting it.

Her Daughters Dream

This woman is someone I love, admire and don't think I will ever measure up to.

Oh, and she is pretty.