Its amazing what happens when you are obedient. When you can take that step back, letting the humility wash over you, as you realize you really didn't know better.
This is what you wanted God? This is where you wanted me? Are you sure?
I tend to think I dream too big- but then I remember I serve a big God. That His ways surpass mine and even in the midst of confusion and only slight understanding, He continues to have grace upon me- revealing little glimpses of what is to come. I feel like a kid peaking inside the present closet before Christmas- all smiles and anticipation.
I know He loves me and whatever He has for me is going to be beyond what I can fathom. I tend to become that spoiled brat- demanding what I want right now. I take on the persona of Veruca Salt and often feel the need to be deemed a bad egg. (Willy Wokna people- stay with me). Then, once again, He lets me peak inside the closet. Just enough to give this spoiled brat's heart the ability to skip a beat- as I see that the years of praying, dreaming and yearning are actually going to happen.
I am my biggest problem. I am the one who gets in the way. Often we like to put the blame on the people, circumstances or the devil himself. Yet reality remains- I am the issue. If I would just get out of the way- imagine what God could do? Then again, in spite of me, in spite of my stubborn foolishness, He lets me in. He welcomes me into His presence and I am restored.