Twilight approaches. The darkness has past and the Light is coming. I know the darkness is behind me, I have a desire to look over my shoulder and see it dissipate. But all I can do is gaze at the Marvelous Light that is in front of me. I stand, my weak and feeble knees are gaining their strength again. I have been crawling for so long and finally see the hope that I have known was always there. I give into my desire and turn- the darkness really is leaving. Oh how small my faith can be. I know now- it was all for the blessing. I know now, that no matter what happens to me- no circumstance, no trouble, no amount of stretching or grinding I may feel- it had to come through Him first. The Light is fighting for me against the darkness and He won’t let the enemy win. I know that all my panics, all my tears, all my emotional outcries of despair were all because He loves me. Even though, at the moment I don’t quiet see the harvest, I know that if He let all this come, there must be more. It was all for this... the twilight. My strength is slowly returning, my smile is back and I can’t stop. The tears are now filled with anticipation of what is to come. My joy is now made full once more. I will no longer fret. I will no longer distress or disquiet my mind. I know now- that there was a great purpose. I can see the Light approaching as it continues to head towards me. I take a deep breath- I didn’t even realize I was holding it in. Why didn’t I see this before? Why didn’t I recognize that the battle was already won? Why didn’t I remember that the victory I can rest in is in the Light. The Light was already here, all I had to do was call upon its Name.
"Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean; wash me and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me hear joy and gladness, that the bones you have broken my rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of my salvation and uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners shall be converted to You." Psalm 51:7-13
I thought this was about the book. haha. But I'm glad your coming home soon and I know the Lord has taught you a lot through this hard time. He always does. Love you!
ReplyDeleteLaura, I've been reading you blog for awhile. I don't even remember how I came across it? I'm blessed to read about how the Lord is growing you in His wisdom! Reading this post made me think of something my youth pastor would tell our group "We're fighting from VICTORY, not for victory." Well, girl! I'll be praying for you! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteAMBER!!! thank you so much for the encouragement. I read your blog and have it book marked now. and I love what your youth pastor said.. so true!
ReplyDeleteGlad we know have this to stay in touch.
I'm SO glad we can keep in touch with what's going on in eachothers lives. I hope you enjoy this last week or so? of your internship! Finish strong, be bold!
ReplyDeleteLove ya!