Hmmm

One of the things I have really enjoyed this semester is how much we have been able to experience the culture of Italy. This past weekend, I think I really got the full dose of that part of being here. Over the last few months, the church here has been putting together a Gospel Choir for the Christmas season. I can’t tell you how entertaining it has been, just to be part of it! When they asked the bible college to be involved we all thought it would be Christmas songs in Italian. Little did we know we would be reinacting “Sister Act” and singing about Jesus coming back on a white horse... in english. But what is amazing, is all the Italains, even with thier song sheets in phonetics casue they can’t speak english, are so excited about this!! We had 4 hour long practices (that were pretty entertainig) every saturday, all leading up to two concerts that we were putting on. This past weekend was the first and over 600 people showed up!! It was amazing. (Check out the pictures. Sadly, I can’t take credit for those. Kyle is the photographer on that one)  The Pastor was able to share the Gospel message with the whole crowd, and turns out the following Sunday at  church had a few more new faces than usual. 

After the events of Saturday, Sunday was our day of rest casue monday was going to be crazy! Two ladeis from the church, Silvana and Gabriella, wanted to teach us how to make home-made raviloli. So at 9 in the morning, the 6 hour long process started. Everything from rolling out the dough and pressing it, to folding over 300 pastas, our kitchen was packed with eagar  students wanting to learn and the Italians “talking”  and showing us what to do. It is always intresting to be in that atmosphere, casue even though only 2 out of the 15 people in the room spoke Italains, I don’t think I learned so much in that short of time. With Silvana and Gabriella not knowing english and none of us really knowing italian- the hand motions were necessary. 

By the time 3:00 came we were all ready with our full stomachs for the afternoon nap.  But our Italain adopted mothers had other plans. The worship leader in the church was playing the violin for an Italian Opera concert that night and he had invited all of us to go. We were leaving at 4. So we drank one more shot of espresso, changed clothes, and got in the car. The concert was in an old Catholic church (everything is held in an old Catholic church) and was beautiful!  

My stomach was full, the music was soothing and the eye lids were getting a heavy. The weekend was a success and it was full of memories I will never forget. Check out the pictures I put of thanksgiving, our concert, and the cooking day. 

God Bless all and thanks for everything!

I leave in 13 days to come back to the states!!

 

Twilight

Twilight approaches. The darkness has past and the Light is coming. I know the darkness is behind me, I have a desire to look over my shoulder and see it dissipate. But all I can do is gaze at the Marvelous Light that is in front of me. I stand, my weak and feeble knees are gaining their strength again. I have been crawling for so long and finally see the hope that I have known was always there. I give into my desire and turn- the darkness really is leaving. Oh how small my faith can be. I know now- it was all for the blessing. I know now, that no matter what happens to me- no circumstance, no trouble, no amount of stretching or grinding I may feel- it had to come through Him first. The Light is fighting for me against the darkness and He won’t let the enemy win. I know that all my panics, all my tears, all my emotional outcries of despair were all because He loves me. Even though, at the moment I don’t quiet see the harvest, I know that if He let all this come, there must be more. It was all for this... the twilight. My strength is slowly returning, my smile is back and I can’t stop. The tears are now filled with anticipation of what is to come. My joy is now made full once more. I will no longer fret. I will no longer distress or disquiet my mind. I know now- that there was a great purpose. I can see the Light approaching as it continues to head towards me. I take a deep breath- I didn’t even realize I was holding it in. Why didn’t I see this before? Why didn’t I recognize that the battle was already won? Why didn’t I remember that the victory I can rest in is in the Light. The Light was already here, all I had to do was call upon its Name.


"Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean; wash me and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me hear joy and gladness, that the bones you have broken my rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of my salvation and uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners shall be converted to You." Psalm 51:7-13

Desert

“White as snow. White as snow.

Though my sins were as scarlet....

...You will make me white as snow.”

I wrestled awake trying to remember where I had laid my head the night before. I turn over and looked out the window as the German sky had opened up and the snow was covering all that I could see. The night before we had arrived at the campus in Siegen, Germany and was now being awaked to the seasons first snowfall.  As the weekend progressed the snow kept coming and coming- 5 inches total! For me, the Florida girl that I am, the twelve year old came out in me as I threw the hundredth snowball that first day. Although my fingers were numb and my toes were tingling- I had the best time I have had in such a long time!  (check out the pictures I posted to get a more detailed look at the weekend)

The last night approached and as I was sitting on the couch- sipping on a new found friend’s tea, I tried to take in the last bit of my Narnia that I could. Before the white snow came, the dead grass and withered trees were all that surrounded. The leaves had changed and fallen as the end of Autumn concluded and the start of winter had arrived.  

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?...

...My heart shall not fear; though war may rise up against me, in this I will be confident.” Psalm 27:1-3

The semester is almost over. In 26 days I will be heading back across the Atlantic Ocean and in all honesty don’t know when I will be back. Do I want to? Definitely. It has been a hell ride these past few months and one that I needed. It was (and still is)  a time when I have been put through the fire and have had to face the sin that was buried deep inside of my own self. I had to learn to swallow, to let go, to realize when I am crawling that I know I will be on my feet again. To know that in the desert God will provide the living water. In the fire I am being refined. In the battle the victory is already won and I can know that triumph is on its way. And when the Harvest comes, I can see that I am overflowing just to be emptied again. In all of this- in every season- I can take hold and comfort in that God is still God. He is still on the throne and I am going to praise Him.

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed 

that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the Land of the living.” Psalm 27:13

Finger Tips

“I  am dying of thirst by the Fountain.” -unknown

In my kitchen,my hot tea and bible are keeping me company as the cold rain pounds the windows.  I try and soak up the rarity of having the apartment to myself. As the afternoon approaches, I realize what a week it has been. Too often I sit here and come to the recognition of what is truly going on in the world, and in my own life. Even when you have salvation and you have the strength of the Lord, we too often fall back into our old ways and start to thirst for the drowning that will swallow ourselves.  I realize that I am not taking advantage of what has already been given to me.  I find myself holding on by my fingertips- I am holding on, but barely.  Right as I feel as if that last finger is just about to slip away, and I find myself trying to hold myself up, I  become aware of what I am doing- I am struggling.  I find myself feeling stretched and sprawled out right in front of  exactly what I need- I find myself dying of thirst as I am right near the fountain. Yet, once I come to the realization that I am in restraint and struggling, I am set free. It is only when I stop struggling, that I  survive.  

“Knowing that our old man was crucified with HIm, that the body  of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin.” Romans 6:6-7

It is rather ridiculous when we really think about it. We have salvation right? We have the promise of eternal life, the promise of the Holy Spirit to help guide us and to be our Helper, and we have the promise of the Word. Yet one promise I seem to forget (and I am sure I am not the only one out there, so admit this to yourself as well) is our freedom that we obtain by our salvation.  We all struggle with something- for some it is a bit more evident in their lives then others- but we all have something. We all have a flesh, a sin nature.  Yet, as people who have salvation, that old man is no longer draggin behind us. Our old slef dies when Christ bore our sins and was crucified. We no longer have to be in the bondage of that. When we bear the name of Christ and choose to have Him abiding in us, we must realize that He died once and for all.  Not “once-and-for-all”, but rather “one time and for all sin.”  

When I accepted the gift, and I made the choice to receive salvation, I was freed! I no longer had to deal with the bondage and sin that kept me back before. So why do I let it get me now? Why, when I  have the promise of the Word, do I let the enemy get to me- letting my thoughts and my mind think I have to do anything.  All I must do, is let go, come to fountain, and jump in. All I need to do- is take part in what I already have- and that is liberty in Christ.

“For when there is a testament, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator.  For a testament is in force after men are dead, since it has no power at all while the testator lives.” Hebrews 9:16-17

Daily I have to ask myself...

AM I DEAD? 

Writers Block

Its been almost a week since I got back from Rome... and I am sorry that I am just now sitting down to get it all out.  I was sitting in our freezing cold living room- thinking of ways to be creative and trying to “think outside the box” when thinking about how to describe my trip.  But I couldn’t. So what better way to tell you about Rome, then to show you. I posted about 100 pictures that will show you the 5 day trip to Rome. My roommate and I met her parents there and well lets just say, it was unforgettable. 

Check them out and enjoy!

Privileged

This past week the school ventured out on, once again, another adventure. Two weeks after returning from Austria as a family, we all spread out and conquered our own journeys. Four went to Scilia to encourage and pray with a group that desires a church to be started there and three went to Rome to help with a new church plant. Meanwhile me and six others trekked opposite of the heat and headed North- to Kvitsund, Norway. After roughly ten hours of bus, train, and plane we arrived at a christian boarding school... in the middle of no where.
Before leaving Italy, we were informed of little of what we would be doing and participating in at the school. All we knew was we had a few nights to do whatever we wanted with the students, but nothing was mandatory for anyone to attend. So basically, we could of gotten there and all 180 students completely ignore us and the trip be awkward and pointless. Thank the Lord it was anything but.
Over those 7 days, we were part of a major work that the Lord is doing in a very dark country. As we ate four (yes four) meals a day, played dodge ball, prayed and worship with the students- our minds were opened to something we never would have expected. We were all enraptured into the lives of these people- and for some reason they grabbed onto us as well. Through out the week we had opportunities for the students to come and we would do worship (with a guitar, not an organ) and just share our hearts and lives- being completely open and available for whatever they needed. As I mentioned before- nothing was mandatory and was optional for everyone. Yet, every time we had an event- our jaws would drop and our hearts rejoiced as the students and staff pilled in.
I strive to write about the experience and the feelings that happened in Norway- but sometimes, words just can’t come. Sometimes you experience something so joyful and satisfying that you don’t even know how to explain it to yourself. You think about it- and you hit this wall of frustration cause you can’t express what is going on inside of you. All you can do is praise the Lord that He chose you. All I can do is thank Him for the privilege He gave everyone of us in going to Norway. I look back on all the people I met, all the encouragement I got and the fruit that came from our prayers- I see that I have no idea what I did. When we can sit back and look at the fruit of a work and not be able to see how it all came to pass- that is when you know it was anointed. I can honestly say- I could have been anyone. I did nothing. I am honored and astounded that the Lord would choose us to encourage the lives of the students.

“And He said, ‘My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.’
Then he said to Him, ‘If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here.’” Exodus 33:14-15

Just as Moses prayed that he would not go alone- I pray the same for my own life. I desire nothing if the Lord’s Presence is not evident. These past few months have been a whirlwind of emotions, a speratic out cry of desperation and tears, and a realization of how empty I am. But then- I remember that I am not alone. That I will continue in the walk of my life and will not go forward alone.

***check out the pictures on the website to your right.. there are a ton!!!!

Valley Girl

Standing there, looking out of the window of my room, my eyes trying to take in the scene that stood in front of me. As another fall breeze swept through and the changing leaves fell down below, I had to remind myself to breathe. I had to remind myself that, yes, I am in an ancient castle in the mountains of Alps and have had the “Sound of Music” soundtrack playing in my head since I stepped off the train. For the past week we took the students to the Bible College campus in Austria- which so happens to be in an ancient castle. This week, known as “Speakers Week”, was a time for all of us- students and staff- to get out of the routine for a bit. With no ipods, no computers, no Internet and just each other- we spent the week getting our focus back on Jesus and just relaxing out of our routine.  The castle is gorgeous, peeking through the trees of a mountain and facing a lake with the Alps enclosing you in. It was a great week to really just sit back and listen. We were on top of the mountain- but you can’t stay on top of the mountain forever.

When we leave a certain time or event, usually we learn more from that experience once we look back. Once we are no longer in the midst of it and begin start to examine it from the outside in, then do we realize all that happened in that time. Once I came down from the mountain and we were heading back to Italy, I came to the realization of something: I like the mountain. I like the times when we are on top, when we are all taking in the moments of joy and the refreshing time with the Lord. Selfishly I like the moments where it is just me and God- and I can see things from the top of the mount and not be in the valley. 

" We have all had times on the mount, when we have seen things from God's standpoint and have wanted to stay there; but God will never allow us to stay there. The test of our spiritual life is the power to descend; if we have the power to rise only, something is wrong. It is a great thing to be on the mount with God, but a man only gets there in order that afterwards he may get down among the devil-possessed and lift them. We are not built for the mountains and the dawns and aesthetic affinities, those are for moments of inspiration, that is all. We are built for the valley, for the ordinary stuff we are in, and that is where we have to prove our mettle. Spiritual selfishness always wants repeated moments on the mount. The mount is not meant to teach us anything, it is meant to make us something. The moments on the mountain tops are rare moments, and they are meant for something in God's purpose."  Oswald Chambers

How humbling it is to realize that we weren’t made for the mount. We were made to for the valley. To be amongst the “devil-possessed and lift them up.”  To the be light in the darkness and to bring glory to our God. We all long to be on the mount all the time, but when you really look at it, what greater joy is there than to know that you are doing what the Lord has asked of you. What greater fulfilment of Joy is there, knowing that you were used to help someone get on the mountain and catch their breath.

To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice.Yet they will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers. John 10:3-5

This valley girl longs to hear the voice of her Shepherd call her by name.