Sun and Moon

If you are the sun, then I want to be the moon. I want to reflect the light that shines from You.

And if this is war, then I am going to draw my sword, this time I know what I am fighting for.

God I want to let you know, I want everything You are.

I am waiting for the morning light to show a fire in the dark.

Shine Your Light, I want to feel You now.

God I need a miracle

Take my heart, make it glow

Shine Your light from the inside out

I want to be more like you

If you are the sun, then I want to be the moon

If love is a choice, then I need you to hear my voice.

Im the one knocking on Your door, making all this noise.

Whatever it takes, I give it all away

I want to show my love in a thousand ways

I cant live a single day without You

I dont even want to try

I wont take another step without Your light

I need Your light. 

Follow, Don't Push

"It is not a waste of time to wait for 3 days, 3 months or even 3 years on the bank of the Jordan River if, like Peter, you can say, 'I'm not simply caught up in an emotion or seeking an experience, but I understand the biblical foundation and base for the direction into which I'm moving.'...

...People say, 'I am going to have the same experience that he or she or they had.' God, however, wants to take us where we've never been before. Therefore, its the wise man or woman who says, 'Lord, I want Your anointing. And I'm going to give Your space to work it out any way you chose.'"

-Jon Courson

Jemima June

Its almost been a week since I said my goodbyes to Missouri and made my way back to the humid arm pit known as Tallahassee. (Im not being dramatic. I promise.)

Not seeing this part of my family nearly enough, it is always nice to get to spend enough time that you get past the barrier of "I am a guest in your house and you have to entertain me." You know it is quality time with you can sit on the back porch looking at j.crew and Pottery Barn magazines while enjoying a cup of coffee. Or go to dinner and almost lose your food over the laughter of talking about Modern Family. In my case I have memories of playing "hot or cold" in the basement playroom with the cutest 5 year old I have ever met! However, holding my 4 days old baby cousin was the icing on the cake.

Me and Jemima June Colle

Family Evening walk, and we didnt sweat! 

Me and Tallulah Grace! 

My whole heart

I want to know You.

Let Your Spirit overwhelm me,

Let Your Presence over take my heart. 

"For NOT he who commends himself is approved, but whom the LORD commends." 2 Corinthians 10:18

Adversity

“I will not hinder my taste for aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself. How will you surprise yourself this week?

I remember the days being blistering hot as the summer was being written to the soundtrack of sweat, sunshine and a neighborhood of kids loving every minute. It was a typical weekday filled with no school and all the playtime an 8 year old could hope for. Just one thing haunted the back of my childhood thoughts- the daunting reality that I could not ride a bike without the oh-so embarrassing wobbly training wheels. All my friends, including my 5-year-old little brother, were getting dizzy off of the circles they made in the street. Yet I stood there, sweat dripping from my frizzy curls as they mixed in with the tears. I was in quiet a pickle as an 8 year old: I didn’t want to be left out of the laughter, yet I was overcome with the possibility of falling.  Running away, I hurried inside as my mom was in the cool house folding laundry and enjoying her afternoon escape of Guiding Light. Concerned something actually happened, she lifted my hot sweaty little body up on the bed and left me to chill out (literally and figuratively). As I sat on her bed, I got lost in my little mind as the blue sponge painted walls and Philip Spalding became white noise to my wondering fears.  I stared out the window, knowing the tears were not directed at anyone but myself.

 Then, it hit me. I sat straight up and decided at that moment to overcome my adversity. Heck, if my little brother can ride a bike, gosh darn it, so can I! A soon as Daddy walked in the door that evening I knew it was tonight or never. As we made our way out to the garage, the panic of reality started to set in. But I knew I had to be a big girl, I was going to be in fourth grade after all.  We made our way to the end of the driveway and towards the cul-de-sac that daunted my thoughts. I placed the pink helmet on my curly ball of hair and put one leg over as my Dad’s hands securely held the bike. I felt the push of the steady hand and my legs started to pedal forward.

“Daddy, don’t let go yet! Don’t let go!”

“I wont until you are ready.”

“Daddy, don’t let go yet! Don’t let go!”

“Laura Jean you are doing it!” as his voice became more distant and my legs pedaled faster.

For the next few hours I soaked up the summer sunset as my brothers and me rode our bikes in endless circles. Looking back to the house I saw my parents, sitting in the driveway surrounded by the half deflated kiddie pool and basketballs, cheering us on.

The next day I conquered the neighbor’s driveway and ran into the mailbox. No worries, its on homes video somewhere.

But yes, I got back on the bike. 

Fear

These are voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Is fear holding you back from living your fullest life and being truly self-expressed? Put yourself in the shoes of the you who’s already lived your dream and write out the following answers:

1.     Is the insecurity you’re defending worth the dream you’ll never realize? Or the love you you’ll never venture? Or the joy you’ll never feel?

No, no and no.  Take that step of faith. Let it encompasses all that is within you and don’t let nothing keep your life from being fully over taken by the power that is already in you. If He is for us the who could ever be stop us? It is scary and unknown, but it will be worth it all. (so I keep telling myself)

2.     Will the blunder matter in 10 years? Or 10 weeks? Or 10 days? Or 10 minutes?

10 years? No. But just as everyone else, I am sensitive to my own insecurities and how others will feel if I was in their shoes. Sacrifices have to be made and the things will change. And others will be affected. Yet I cant base my life decisions off of someone else and what they think. However I can realize it will affect more than just me.

3.     Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?

I believe you must realize you can me more than who you think you are right now. I believe people settle for what is tangible and what is comfortable and gives us the most control. Push yourself and get out of the way. Let Him take full control and be sensitive to the leading of His hand. Realizing that you were made for far more than the limitations you see yourself.

Now do. The thing. You fear. 

Imitation

Imitation is Suicide. Insist on yourself; never imitate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down in which areas of your life you have to overcome these suicidal tendencies of imitation, and how you can transform them into a newborn you – one that doesn’t hide its uniqueness, but thrives on it. There is a “divine idea which each of us represents” – which is yours?

(Author: Fabian Kruse)

  Imitation is easy. Imitation is safe. I can look at someone who has similarities of what I see in my own life line and think "if this, this and this line up as the same, then my life will end up like that." But the truth is, my life is a choice of my own and is imprinted with characteristics that make up who I am. No one can truly imitate me, just as I can not truly imitate you. You witness the cruelty of the fake followers who try so desperately to be something they are not, so much so that you cringe. Yet we get caught up in the reality of emulating someone every day. We compliment an outfit, or see an action or deed we admire- and we aspire to imitate.  The problem with imitation, is it can hinder the process of creativity and keeps us safe. When we see how someone else does certain things, we know the consequences, the effects and reactions already. It is safe to imitate cause there is no faith. 

I can imitate someone elses ideas, lifestyle and patterns- yet the truth always surfaces. Its is just a matter of how terrible the consequences will be and who will be effected by them. 

Honesty is the best policy.

I have to be honest with myself.

Who is Laura Jean Colle?

I have to take a step back and see that my interest and personality does not derive or become directed from those around me or change with the passing seasons. But it has roots that are true to me and the foundation is of the original Creator. My taste may change, the clothes will adapt, and the music will evolve. But my roots are of no imitation other than my own.